somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
