What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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