Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
