i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
