So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
