those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
