did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
