a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
