your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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