using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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