i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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