69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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