just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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