Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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