They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
