My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
