your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
