He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
