she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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