she was so not down for the gang bang
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
