Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
