i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
