Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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