dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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