We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
