i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
