If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
