I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
