I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
