i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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