I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
