I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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