left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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