also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
