never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
