you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
