It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
