u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
