I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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