OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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