omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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