You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
