I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
