Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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