i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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