My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
