it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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