no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
