watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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