I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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